I have always been afraid of getting married. I would literally have nightmares about getting married. When I was younger, I had three recurring themes in my dreams. I dreamed of tornadoes, of getting pregnant outside marriage, and of getting married. The scariest by far were the ones where I would get married. In the dream, I would say, "Well, now you've done it. You got married. You know, you always said, 'I've made mistakes in my life but at least I haven't gotten married.' And now you have. And you can't ever change your mind. Ever."
I would wake up and literally breathe a sigh of relief and say, "Thank GOD. It didn't really happen."
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In March of 2006, I found out that our singles pastor was dating a girl in the singles' group who was 10 years younger than he was and I was flabbergasted. He was a smart, educated, cultured man in his early thirties dating a girl (yes, I said 'girl') in her early twenties. I just couldn't imagine a girl that young being any sort of a good partner for a man like him. It was SO obvious to me that it was a mistake and they would break up, but he's the singles' pastor, so then what? Does she have to start going to another church? Man, this is just a bad idea. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I was really annoyed by the whole thing.
That afternoon, I took a Sunday afternoon nap (those are the best), and when I woke up, I felt like God had spoken to me: "Don’t worry about it. I got it. Don’t worry about them. Oh, and, uh, don't worry about you."
Fine.
(Also, after thinking about it further, I realized it was probably a pretty good match, and therefore gave it my blessing, which I'm sure everyone would have been thankful for, except that all of this was happening in my head.)
Anyway, that day, I got a call from a guy. He wanted to see if I was interested in having coffee sometime, which I happened to know was his standard line. So me getting this call right after God told me that He had my love life under control meant something, right? It was a sign.
Things went okay with coffee guy for a while. He was going to go away for the summer and I bought a plane ticket to go visit him in New York. But then a few days before he left, we broke up. It was sort of a mutual "I'm not getting what I need from this" sort of thing. But it still sucked. And what the heck did it mean? What about God having my love life under control? Huh? What about that?
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You know this blog really helps me understand some things. I kind of always thought it had to have been, but it is nice to get a little confirmation that it WAS an act of God that led you to actually date coffee guy. Otherwise, I would have had to go with the theory that you had lost your mind to think that it was a good idea. I am still not exactly sure how he made it past the "dating council" the second time? Now the only time that I thought you might have lost your mind is when you dressed Dylan (Dillon?) up in his Hawaiian shirt. Have you gotten him a gold medallion to go with that shirt yet?
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