March 7
Liz says:
The question at hand is only this: Is he making lame transparent excuses about marriage to cover for the fact that he really doesn't ever see a future with you? That's the hard question. And women are smart. If they really got quiet and stopped listening to the excuses, or believing what they wanted to be true and what they hope he's really saying, and just got all centered about it, I think women would always know. They'll always know the difference between a man who truly has issues with marriage but is deeply committed to the relationship and them, and a guy who's just being a weenie.
March 15
If you can find him, he can find you. If he wants to, he will.
March 17
Ladies, you are going to meet, and have already met, many, many men in the years that constitute your dating life span. And I hate to tell you this, but some of these men will simply not be attracted to you. I know you're hot, but that's just the way it is.
March 20
Are there men who are too busy or have been through something so horrible that makes it hard for them to get involved? Yes, but there are so few of them that they should be considered urban legends.
March 25
Greg says:
The big questions is, "Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me?" I'm saying to you, "No." Barring disaster – someone had to be rushed to the hospital, he was just fired form his job, someone keyed his Ferrari – he should never forget to call you. If I like you, I don't forget you, ever. Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the others things in his life before he forgets about you?
March 28
You can feel like crap and be alone. Or feel like crap and at least have someone to spend the holidays with. It seems like it might be a fair trade, except for the fact that it means the only two options you are giving yourself involve feeling like crap.
March 30
No matter how traumatic a divorce was… the person you plan on spending your life and having kids with should love you enough to get over it if getting married is important to you.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Pride
I struggle with pride. Most of you probably already know that as you've either seen it first hand, or you've heard me confess it, or both. Actually, from what I hear from other people, most of us struggle with pride. It's just funny how it manifests itself in different people. Have I written about this before? Feeling a little déjà vu… Anyway, for probably over a year now I've been thinking about the idea of humility and pride and all that stuff, but humility is one of those things that it's real scary to ask for. How does God teach humility? He humbles you. And it ain't no fun. But, luckily, sometimes God teaches us things in other ways, too, and hopefully I'm not so stubborn that I can't learn things the not hard way.
So I've been reading a lot recently, which is part of the reason I haven't been blogging as much. Reading and writing are both very time consuming and I think that other people have written things that are so much more interesting than what I would be writing about, so sometimes I opt just to read other people's stuff. Plus, I don’t have to think as much then. Writing sometimes makes my brain hurt.
So, what have I learned about pride and humility? First of all, just as a person can CHOOSE to act in a loving manner even when they don't FEEL it, a person can CHOOSE to act in a humble manner even when every ounce of their being is screaming in indignation. That's for starters. So even when I think I'm right and the other person is wrong, that doesn't mean it's okay for me to tell them how stupid they are. Even if I think it. The goal, of course, is to actually have the appropriate attitude to go along with it, but that comes with time. In the meantime, I can choose to suppress my own will and let God's mandates dictate my behavior. But it's so hard…
Some of the other things I've learned have come from what I've been reading lately. So tonight, let's take a look…
I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. I just finished The Horse and His Boy. In this book, there is a horse named Bree who is an intelligent, talking war horse from Narnia, not the dumb, nontalking kind we are used to. During the story, he and his boy, Shasta, and another horse and her girl, Hwin and Aravis, are being chased by a lion. Shasta falls off Bree, but Bree continues to run in fear and leaves Shasta and the slower Hwin and Aravis behind.
Bree is shamed when he realized what he has done: "Slavery is all I'm fit for. How can I ever show my face among the free Horses of Narnia?- I who left a mare and a girl and a boy to be eaten by lions while I galloped all I could to save my own wretched skin!"
The wise hermit responds: "My good Horse, you've lost nothing but your self-conceit. No, no, cousin. Don't put back your ears and shake your mane at me. If you are really so humbled as you sounded a minute ago, you must learn to listen to sense. You're not quite the great Horse you had come to think, from living among poor dumb horses. Of course you were braver and cleverer than them. You could hardly help being that. It doesn't follow that you'll be anyone very special in Narnia. But as long as you know you're nobody special, you'll be a very decent sort of Horse, on the whole, and taking one thing with another."
I'm good at some things. Other things, not so much. I had let my little brain get so wrapped up in the things I COULD do well, that I had begun to think myself better than other people.
I think that sometimes as Christians, we get to where we begin to compare ourselves to nonbelievers and end up feeling prideful. Like we're better than them because we don't do some of the things that are so obviously self-destructive. But we forget that things aren't quite so obvious to them. We have been given the light, while they are still in darkness. We forget the condition in which they live their lives, without the power of the Holy Spirit, without the hope of future glory with our Lord. We begin to feel like talking war horses from Narnia, much superior to poor dumb horses. But compared with who we SHOULD be, we are no one special. And as long as we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') keep that in mind, we just might turn out to be a decent sort of horse.
So I've been reading a lot recently, which is part of the reason I haven't been blogging as much. Reading and writing are both very time consuming and I think that other people have written things that are so much more interesting than what I would be writing about, so sometimes I opt just to read other people's stuff. Plus, I don’t have to think as much then. Writing sometimes makes my brain hurt.
So, what have I learned about pride and humility? First of all, just as a person can CHOOSE to act in a loving manner even when they don't FEEL it, a person can CHOOSE to act in a humble manner even when every ounce of their being is screaming in indignation. That's for starters. So even when I think I'm right and the other person is wrong, that doesn't mean it's okay for me to tell them how stupid they are. Even if I think it. The goal, of course, is to actually have the appropriate attitude to go along with it, but that comes with time. In the meantime, I can choose to suppress my own will and let God's mandates dictate my behavior. But it's so hard…
Some of the other things I've learned have come from what I've been reading lately. So tonight, let's take a look…
I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. I just finished The Horse and His Boy. In this book, there is a horse named Bree who is an intelligent, talking war horse from Narnia, not the dumb, nontalking kind we are used to. During the story, he and his boy, Shasta, and another horse and her girl, Hwin and Aravis, are being chased by a lion. Shasta falls off Bree, but Bree continues to run in fear and leaves Shasta and the slower Hwin and Aravis behind.
Bree is shamed when he realized what he has done: "Slavery is all I'm fit for. How can I ever show my face among the free Horses of Narnia?- I who left a mare and a girl and a boy to be eaten by lions while I galloped all I could to save my own wretched skin!"
The wise hermit responds: "My good Horse, you've lost nothing but your self-conceit. No, no, cousin. Don't put back your ears and shake your mane at me. If you are really so humbled as you sounded a minute ago, you must learn to listen to sense. You're not quite the great Horse you had come to think, from living among poor dumb horses. Of course you were braver and cleverer than them. You could hardly help being that. It doesn't follow that you'll be anyone very special in Narnia. But as long as you know you're nobody special, you'll be a very decent sort of Horse, on the whole, and taking one thing with another."
I'm good at some things. Other things, not so much. I had let my little brain get so wrapped up in the things I COULD do well, that I had begun to think myself better than other people.
I think that sometimes as Christians, we get to where we begin to compare ourselves to nonbelievers and end up feeling prideful. Like we're better than them because we don't do some of the things that are so obviously self-destructive. But we forget that things aren't quite so obvious to them. We have been given the light, while they are still in darkness. We forget the condition in which they live their lives, without the power of the Holy Spirit, without the hope of future glory with our Lord. We begin to feel like talking war horses from Narnia, much superior to poor dumb horses. But compared with who we SHOULD be, we are no one special. And as long as we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') keep that in mind, we just might turn out to be a decent sort of horse.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Really, he's still not that into you
Okay so the first post of He's Just Not That Into You was a success. Here's what we have from February. And no, I can't actually WAIT until February to post it. I'm impatient. Get over it.
February 1
Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.
February 13
If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his actions are screaming the truth: He's just not that into you.
February 17
Greg says:
We may try to make you think differently but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be to busy to call you.
February 21
Why rush? It's only been five years. He's going to know you so much better after ten. And you have all the time in the world, right? You know, in case after ten years he decides he's still not ready. I hate to tell you this, but here's why he feels rushed: He's still not sure you're the one.
February 22
Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted. And when you do move on and find your right person, believe me, you're not going to wish you had gotten to spend more time with Stinky the Time-Waster or Freddy Can't-Remember-to-Call.
February 24
Seemingly Innocent Words and Phrases that Can Also Be Used For Evil
FRIEND
What it should mean: I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.
What it sometimes means: I'm just not that into you.
February 25/26
Instead of praying: "Dear God, bring me someone fabulous," try: "Dear God, make me into someone fabulous."
February 27
Hey. I know that guy you're dating. He's that guy who is so tired from work, so stressed about the project he's working on. He's just been through an awful breakup and it's really hitting him hard…. He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.
February 1
Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside.
February 13
If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will or making sure you know that he's dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his actions are screaming the truth: He's just not that into you.
February 17
Greg says:
We may try to make you think differently but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be to busy to call you.
February 21
Why rush? It's only been five years. He's going to know you so much better after ten. And you have all the time in the world, right? You know, in case after ten years he decides he's still not ready. I hate to tell you this, but here's why he feels rushed: He's still not sure you're the one.
February 22
Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted. And when you do move on and find your right person, believe me, you're not going to wish you had gotten to spend more time with Stinky the Time-Waster or Freddy Can't-Remember-to-Call.
February 24
Seemingly Innocent Words and Phrases that Can Also Be Used For Evil
FRIEND
What it should mean: I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.
What it sometimes means: I'm just not that into you.
February 25/26
Instead of praying: "Dear God, bring me someone fabulous," try: "Dear God, make me into someone fabulous."
February 27
Hey. I know that guy you're dating. He's that guy who is so tired from work, so stressed about the project he's working on. He's just been through an awful breakup and it's really hitting him hard…. He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.
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