I don’t complain very often. I mean real complaining. I jokingly complain a lot, but it’s all in jest. But every once in a while, I need to get my real complaining fix.
Just so you know, I’m not obsessed with my singleness. But I have been thinking about it a lot lately because I’ve recently discovered a wonderful author who writes a lot about women and singleness. (This is my shout out to Carolyn McCulley!) She’s helped me understand that it’s okay to want to get married, but it’s also important to remember that if you aren’t happy with your life BEFORE you get married, you aren’t going to be happy with your life AFTER. I’m pleased to say that I am quite content with life before.
But I do have some thoughts about that. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I tend to be a little on the independent side. Almost to a fault. I really like to do things myself, and I don’t really like to get others' opinions before making up my own mind. So here’s the thing. I’ve heard that guys like to feel needed. Like they enjoy having to kill the bug or unscrew the lid that’s on too tight or get something off the top shelf. But these are things I’ve learned to do myself. If there’s a spider, I catch it and take it outside, although it’s true that I might squeal and get the heebie-jeebies. If the lid is on too tight, I beat the crap out of it until it comes off. And I’m tall enough to get just about anything down off the top shelf. I’m even quite capable of rearranging furniture all by my lonesome. (I recently did it, in fact.)
So it’s crossed my mind that I might not make a guy feel very useful. This could be a problem some day. And then tonight happened.
I went to Wal-Mart tonight and parked close to one of the entrances. But at 10, they lock the doors at that entrance so I had to go out the other entrance. But guess what. It was raining. So I just stood there, thinking, “Now this is when having a guy would be helpful.” I’m assuming that if I was married, I would not be at Wal-Mart by myself at 10 at night. (Guys, don’t ever let your wives/girlfriends go to Wal-Mart by themselves that late. Either go with them or insist that they wait until the next day. They might get annoyed – I would – but they will appreciate your concern – I would.) I also assume that he would offer to run to the car, which was at the other end of the parking lot, and drive it up to the door so I wouldn’t have to walk in the rain with all my stuff. I almost think a guy would be proud to do that, likening running in the rain to some sort of badge of honor or something.
So guys, don’t ever feel like you aren’t useful. If nothing else, you’re necessary when it rains. And when something has to be done with the car. My registration has been out since December and it sure would be nice to have someone take care of it for me.
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6 comments:
David-
Are you ready for history to be made? I will concede - you are right. Although, I do have my own set of tools. They are purple and I bought them at Garden Ridge. I even have a hot glue gun.
i was over here minding my own business and i too felt the earth shake. david was right? are u sure you arent being too drastic? although i do have to admit you are being a bit harsh on the males. maybe you should ask someone from work about that.
Ben and David-
The point of this blog was not to be harsh on the males. I was actually trying to encourage guys in general, although I will admit I did a poor job. I was more in the mood to gripe than encourage. I suppose basing an entire blog entry on the phrase "Where's a man when you need one" was a bad idea. I will try to be more uplifting in the future. :)
Just so you know, if a girl is trying to be content in her singleness, going on and on about how wonderful guys can be is probably not the greatest idea either.
Ben-
Your comment was unnecessary...
Since December?!? WOW!
I have to admit to a strong streak of independence as well, but sometimes it is just nice to ask them to do something so that they will feel good:) Or take their offer to walk you to your car despite the fact that you have done it millions of other times without their presence and you would be fine at the moment.
I really like David's list of a guy's usefulness.
Oh and I own a set of tools as well, that are not color coordinated, and I have now ripped up both carpet and linoleum (I think I just totally trashed that spelling). All that to say I am still for independence in single women. We can't be calling a male to come to our assistance when there isn't one around to assist. So either the roach sits there or you deal with it yourself.
Rachel-
I agree. Perhaps there will come a day when we won't have to deal the the roach or the spider or the stuck lid or the thud in the night.
Perhaps the independent women should help a guy out by running throw the rain to get the car. However, I have had a few women offer to just walk with me throw the rain. That's teamwork. You both share in the misery (rain), but it's the sharing that makes it better.
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