Directionally challenged

Okay, so I have a problem with directions. I don’t mean directions as in instructions; I mean directions as in which way to go. You see, I have a very minor case of dyslexia. It has never really been a problem for me. In fact, I used to think I was normal, but then I realized that most people know their “left” from their “right.” And I struggle.

But like I said, it’s never been a problem. More of an annoyance than a problem. But also a subject of entertainment (frustration?) for those who know me.

I’m not stupid. I act like it sometimes, but that’s because it’s fun. It’s fun to say outlandish things and see people’s reactions. Well, usually.

Anyway, some people in my life have gotten irritated by my apparent lack of directional abilities. I dated a guy once who would get frustrated with me when I tried to give him directions. He would say, “Jan, practice!” Yeah, that didn’t help. I mean, did he really think it would? I was in my twenties for crying out loud. If I hadn’t learned it yet, him telling me to practice wouldn’t exactly do the trick.

People try to be helpful. They say things like, “Well, which hand do you write with?” You’d think that would work for me, but it really doesn’t. I still have to think about it. I mean, I don’t have to think about which hand I write with, but that doesn’t help me when I’m in the moment, trying to decide which way to go. I still have to think, “Okay, so I’m right-handed…and I write with this hand…so this way is right.”

Other people say things like, “Your left hand is the one that makes the L.” Hello, people! I’m dyslexic! When you’re dyslexic, they both look like Ls!

Luckily I have found people that are accepting of my apparent handicap. So now whenever I’m driving and someone else is giving me directions, we have code words for “left” and “right.”

We tried a few methods before we found one that worked. One friend suggested we use “passenger” for “right” and “driver” for “left.” I sort of thought that would work. Then we tried it. Yeah, it didn’t work for me. It was just putting different labels on the same thing. Left and right. Passenger and driver. Apples and oranges. It’s all the same. I still have to think about it to figure it out.

So we finally settled on “towards you” and “towards me.” This works pretty well. I know where I am. I know where the person sitting next to me is. I don’t have to think about what “towards you” means. But this method isn’t without its drawbacks. For instance, one friend got really used to the fact that when she said, “Turn towards me,” that meant turn right. So one day I was talking to her on the phone and she was giving me directions to her new apartment. She said, “After you enter the complex, turn towards me.” I was like “Hello! I don’t know where you are! I’m trying to find you!”

(I think she might be getting tired of me but she’s afraid to tell me because I might write something bad about her in my blog. It’s amazing the control you have over people when you have dirt on them. :) )

Okay, so what’s the point in this? The point is that in life, we often don’t know which way to go. Should I go to this school or that school? Or no school? Should I take this job or that job? (Or no job?) Should I go to this church or that church? Should I date this guy or that guy? (Which one is asking? Oh, neither is asking? Then neither. Find a real man who will actually ask…) Should I say something or should I keep my mouth shut? Should I watch Fear Factor on TV or should I do homework? Should I buy that cute skirt I saw at Casual Corner Outlet or should I save my money? (sigh) Decisions, decisions.

It usually isn’t too difficult to find someone willing to let you know what they think you should do. And sometimes you don’t even have to ask. They just tell you. It’s important to have people in life from whom you can seek wise counsel. Just remember that no one’s opinion is as authoritative as God’s word. No one’s advice is more sound. No one’s intentions are more sincere. No one’s motives are less selfish.

God really does have your best interests at heart. That’s pretty encouraging. I mean, think about it. He knows everything. He can do anything. And He loves me. And I mean “love” the verb, not just “love” the feeling. He actively loves me. And He wants to tell me which way is best. Sometimes He just wants me to ask. He wants this for two reasons: 1) He wants me to admit that I need help, and 2) He wants me to acknowledge that I can get no better help than from Him.

So I hope to always make God the navigator of my life. When I don’t know which way to go, I want to remember that I can, and should, ask Him. Even when I think I know, I should probably still ask because I’m wrong a lot.

But here’s the thing. God doesn’t always speak audibly, where I can hear Him. I’ve talked to people that said they actually heard a voice that they believe was God. I have no doubt that God can speak that way, and I assume He does sometimes, but I don’t think He’s ever done that with me.

So I have to be really in touch with the Spirit of God when I want to hear from Him. I assume that the connection from me to God is always pretty clear, but the connection from God to me is sometimes a little fuzzy. It’s not His fault. I’m the one that lets all the “noise” distract me. And sometimes I think I want God to just send me an e-mail with what I should do. That way, I can read it at my own convenience and I don’t actually have to spend a lot of time just TALKING to Him.

When I spend time reading things He has written to me, opening my heart to the truth the Holy Spirit reveals to me about what I read, talking to Him, etc, it really clears up the connection that gets so muddied up with the things of this world. So it’s not enough just to ask, I also have to position myself so that I can hear His answer.

When I have major decisions to make in my life, rather than relying on my own abilities to discern the best course of action, I need to remember to ask the perfect navigator which direction is best. And the funny thing is, no matter which way He tells me to go, I have a feeling His answer will always be the same: “Turn towards Me.”